Punk'd
by dreamingducky
Summary: Suze finally gets Punk'd and the media loves her. What happens when Suze attracts tons of guys--including Ashton Kutcher himself! What about Paul and Jesse? What will their reactions be to Suze's new fame? R&R!
1. OMG I GOT PUNK'D!

**Hey I'm back again!!! And yes I know I need to update my other stories, but I'm writing them, so they'll be up soon. I haven't forgot about them, so don't worry. But I think I might stop writing the one story that was my verison of Twilight, because I've already read Twilight. So yeah. Now, about this story, I've been thinking about it for a long time and dont accuse me of copying it or anything because I didn't. It's my plot. I'm gonna try to make this story a humor-ish story so, wish me luck, and tell me if i suck. Please review!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mediator series. Meg Cabot owns that all, I own nothing, except the plot. Everything else is Meg's. **

**Punk'd**

Chapter 1

Ok, you know how I always thought my life was some sort of TV show made to entertain people?

Yeah well one day my life actually _was_ a joke.

Just a big joke.

But I better not get ahead of myself, let me go to the beginning of the story…

I was getting up in the morning, just like I did every weekend.

I got out of bed, brushed my hair, and then went downstairs for some food.

I was downstairs and nobody was there, which was unusual, because everyone's here in the morning.

I heard the doorbell ringing so I went and answered the door. Some black guy in a police uniform was standing there.

"Are you Susannah Simon?" the guy asked.

"Um, yes. Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"My name is Officer Happy and well…I'm sorry you have to hear this, but your family got into a accident, and they…well they are all dead now."

"WHAT?!?!" I yelled.

WHAT DID HE MEAN MY FAMILY WAS DEAD?!?!?!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!

"Your family is dead. They crashed off the road."

"What…what happened?"

"They were driving along Highway 1 and a cow was in the road, and they crashed off the highway and into the waters of Big Sur," Officer Happy said.

"Oh…oh my god…" I said shocked, and then, suddenly my face felt wet. I realized I was crying.

I heard the sound of laughing suddenly, from behind me.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"

I turned around angry that someone was laughing when I just found out my family had died!!

"Listen asshole, you better stop your laughing before I kick you're a--" I had fully turned around and saw Dopey standing there alive.

Wait, didn't…wasn't he supposed to be dead?!?!

I turned back around to see Officer Happy laughing also.

What…

"Suze, you should've seen your face, oh my god!! It was so funny!!" Dopey said while laughing.

"What is going on," I started to say but was cut off by a guy jumping out from behind Officer Happy and saying, "Susannah Simon, you've just been Punk'd!!!"

Hold on…Ashton Kutcher says that on his show called Punk'd…

OH MY GOD!!!!!

I looked at the guy closer and saw that he was ASHTON KUTCHER!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!! I WAS PUNK'D!!!

My mom, Andy, Doc, and Sleepy all came out from behind Ashton and Officer Happy, and were smiling too.

"Suze!! OH MY GOD!! I CANT BEILEVE YOU BELIEVED WE DIED!!!!" Dopey said still laughing. "I mean seriously! A _cow_ in the middle of the road in _California_!!"

Well, I was so worried I didn't think about that….

"And a guy named Officer _Happy_!!"

I didn't notice that either….

"You're so easy to fool!! I mean even _I _could've figured out something was odd about that and I'm stupid!! Are you on _crack_ or something?!" Dopey continued laughing even harder.

"Well, I was worried and didn't think…" I started to say, but was interrupted by Dopey laughing even louder.

Ok, it was funny at first, but now he's just over doing it, and I'm starting to get mad.

So I turned back around to face him…

….And punched him in the stomach.

Dopey immediately stopped laughing and fell to the floor groaning and gasping in pain while he held his stomach.

I realized something right then, as Andy and my mom went over to Dopey and started yelling at me.

_Oh my god, I just punched my step-brother on TV and infront of Ashton Kutcher!!!!_

**Whadduya think about it?? Is it a good start?? I'm gonna try and make the chapters longer though, so thats about it. Please review--all reviews welcome(even if you want to just tell me hi, or just to flame me and tell me how bad I stink at writing).**

**Review!!**

**Syd**


	2. The Everlasting Phone Calls

**Hey!! I'm updating a lot faster than usual, as you can see. First of all, I want to thank everybody who reviewed!! You rock my socks!! (You would if I were wearing socks right now, that is!) So…I bet you're tired of my pointless talking so here's the chapter!!**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE MEDIATOR SERIES!! MEG CABOT OWNS IT!!! **

**Punk'd**

Chapter 2

'This week on MTV News we hear about Ashton Kutcher's prank show Punk'd. The Punk'd crew went to the sunny tourist town Carmel to punk 16 year-old Susannah Simon. Susannah's family made some calls and then Ashton and the Punk'd crew went to Carmel to punk her. Here's a clip from the Punk'd episode,' SuChin Pak said.

(**Clip from Punk'd episode**)

'You're so easy to fool!! I mean even _I _could've figured out something was odd about that and I'm stupid!! Are you on _crack_ or something?!'

'I--'

'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!'

(Laughter stops and there is gasping and groaning)

'Oww!!…OOOWWW!!!!!!…(More gasping)'

'SUZE!!!'

'SUSANNAH SIMON DO NOT PUNCH YOUR STEP-BROTHER!!!'

(**End of clip**)

'That was just a clip of this week's live Punk'd episode. Susannah Simon punched her stepbrother Brad Ackerman in this clip. To see the whole episode, watch it again at 8:00 PM tonight. I'm SuChin Pak, and this is MTV News, 10 till the hour.'

"Wow, Suze, you made it on MTV News!!" Doc said excitedly.

"Oh my GOD!!!!!" I screeched.

"I know Susie. I mean MTV News, and that's what all the kids are watching these days!" my mom said.

"OH MY FREAKIN GOD!!!! THEY USED MY FULL NAME!!!" I yelled in horror.

Oh my God. Now everyone who was watching MTV knew my full name.

_Susannah._

There's nothing wrong with my name but I wish people would call me _Suze._

"Oh you shouldn't worry. Nobody was probably watching MTV anyway, _Susannah_," Dopey said, smirking.

He obviously didn't remember how hard I could punch.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and was about to retort with something, but I was interrupted by the phone suddenly ringing.

"Susie could you get the phone?" my mom asked me.

"Fine, whatever," I replied.

I went over to the phone and answered with a dull, "Hello?"

"Suze?!" I heard someone squeal on the other side.

"Speaking."

"Oh my GOD!! I just saw you on MTV News!! I was watching MTV Cribs, and then MTV News came on and I was like 'Oh my gosh, will someone turn the channel?' because I soo cant stand hearing the news. Its soo boring and all they do is complain!"-Hah, you and the news have a lot in common then Kelly!!-"Anyway I was like 'TURN THE CHANNEL!!' and then I like, heard your name!! I was like 'Oh my God, turn it back!! Turn it back!!' and then I was like 'Oh my GOD!! That's like Suze!! I like soo know her!!' And then it said you were on Ashton Kutcher's show Punk'd!! I was like 'Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!!!'. Then they played like a clip from the Punk'd episode!! Oh my gosh!! I soo cant believe you punched Brad!! When I saw that I was like"-Oh let me guess, you were like 'Oh my GOD!!'-"'Oh my GOD!!'. And OH MY GOD!! I just like almost totally forgot!!" Kelly squealed. "YOU GOT TO MEET ASHTON KUTCHER!!!! What was he like?? Did you just want to kiss him, right then and there?? Was he even _sexier_ in person than on TV??"

"Um…" I said.

I was still trying to digest what Kelly had just squealed to me.

I think I might die from an overdose of the word 'like' and 'oh my god!'.

"Suze?? Suze, you still there?? You soo better not have hung up on me or I will make your life a living hel--"

Ahh!! Scary Kelly!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!! SHE'LL KILL YOU WITH HER CLAWS!!

"I'm still here, Kelly," I interrupted her.

"Oh! So, what was it like?? You didn't answer me!!" Kelly squealed, not the least bit embarrassed that I over heard her little threat.

I heard the call waiting signal beep, and so I said to Kelly, "Kel, there's someone on the other line, can you hold on a sec?"

"Yeah totally!! Just don't hang up on m--" Kelly said, but I interrupted her by switching on the other line.

"Hello??"

"Suze!! Oh my god!! I just saw you on MTV!!!" I heard Cee Cee squeal on the other end.

Ugh, _please_ tell me that I won't have to hear the words 'oh my god!' anymore??

_Please!!_

"Yeah, yeah," I said, tiredly. I knew that if Kelly Prescott, the Queen of Blonde Bimbos, heard about me being on MTV, then a _whole lot_ of people knew too, or would know soon.

Oh joy.

"So, spill everything!! And I mean _everything!!_" Cee Cee said.

"Alright, but can you hold on? I have to go hang up, I mean tell goodbye, to Kelly."

"KELLY PRESCOTT?!?!?" Cee Cee started to ask, but I switched back to the other line.

"Kelly?"

"Suze!! You're back!!"

"Yeah, can I talk to you later…I uh have other things to do."

Wrong thing to say, Simon.

Very wrong.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE 'OTHER THINGS TO DO'?!?!?!?" Kelly yelled, getting very mad.

My God! She thinks the whole _world_ revovles around her!!

"Simple. I have _better_, not other, things to do than talk to you. So later, Prescott."

And then I hung up.

Woo-Hoo!!! Go me!!

Wait…

OH CRAP!!!

I hung up on both Kelly _and Cee Cee_.

Damnit!! I'm an _idiot_!!!

Before I could call Cee Cee back and explain to her how much of a idiot I am, the phone rang.

I picked it up and said, "Hello?", expecting to hear a very mad Kelly or an annoyed Cee Cee.

But I didn't expect to hear someone else.

That someone being my best friend.

"Hey, Girl!!" Gina's voice said.

"Hey, _G_", I said, putting a lot of emphasizes on 'G'.

I could tell just by Gina's voice she was rolling her eyes all the way back in Brooklyn in her apartment. "Ahh, lets not bring that up again, Simon. I'm over your brother."

"Right. So why are you calling?"

"Girl, when exactly were you planning to tell me you were on Punk'd???"

"I was gonna tell you, Gina. It just happened a couple of days ago."

"Yeah, but you're supposed to call me right when it happens! Girl, how we gonna keep in touch with each other's lives when we aren't clued in what's happenin'??"

"Gina, relax. You know now, so problem solved."

"Good, now that that's settled…"

Here it comes…

"Oh my god girl!! You got to meet _Ashton Kutcher!! And you punched your stepbrother, what's-his-name, on TV!!_ You must be a good puncher if you hurt a wrestler!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just do me a favor?" I asked.

"What?"

"Don't say the words 'like' or 'Oh my god!!' more than 3 times."

"Simon, you're so weird."

"I know, I know."

"Anyway…they called you Susannah!!" Gina laughed.

"Don't remind me."

"Couldn't you have at least to them to call you Suze instead of Susannah??"

"I didn't know they were gonna show it on MTV News!!"

"Right," Gina said. There was the sound of someone yelling in the background. "I'm getting off!!" Gina yelled back to whoever was yelling, and said to me, "Hey, Simon, I gotta go. My bro wants the phone so he can call some mystery girl. Later."

"Bye," I said, then hung up the phone.

I put down the phone and walked back toward the couch so I could sit down again, but surprise, surprise!

The phone rang.

"Hello?" I said, answering the phone.

"Is this Susannah Simon?" Someone from the other line asked.

"Yeah…"

"Hey! It's Ashton from Punk'd, remember me?"

Oh my God!! (A/N: Don't worry, we're not going to go through the whole 'oh my God!' thing again.)

Ashton Kutcher is calling my house!!

"Oh hi."

Very smart, Suze. I can tell you're the sharpest tool in the shed.

…._Not!!_

"So what do you want?"

"I just wanted to apologize ahead of time for the media that's gonna be crowding you for a while," he said.

Media?

Oh joy.

"Uh, thanks then," I said.

Jeez, this was awkward.

"I gotta go, talk to you later," he said, then hung up.

How **rude!!!**

I hung up the phone and walked back toward the couch. I _almost_ made it, but then the stupid phone rang **again!**

"Hello?" I said, sighing.

Damn, this was gonna be a _long_ night.

**Whadduya think about that?? Was it terrible?? I want to thank all my lovely reviewers again, you rock!! Well…In spirit of the holidays I encourage you to sing, "JINGLE BELLS!! SLATER SMELLS!!! JESSE ALL THE WAY!!!!!!" (That song was made by SS01 at MCBC, btw)**

**Happy Chrismahanaukwanzaka!!!**

**Luv ya'll!**

**Sydney**

**REVIEW!!**

**REVIEW!!!**

**REVIEW!!!!**

**Shutting up now. D**


	3. School Part 1

**Punk'd**

Chapter 3

School.

After a night of _many_ phone calls about me being on MTV News and Punk'd, the next day I had school.

School with tons of people who watched MTV News and Punk'd.

Oh freakin' joy.

"Suze, hurry up!! You're gonna be late for school!!" I heard Andy yell from downstairs.

Being late for school?

Doesn't sound too bad right now.

"SUZE HURRY UP!!!"

I slowly made my way downstairs, moving as slowly as I could, when I realized something.

_I was still in my pajamas!!!_

Running back to my room, I grabbed a random pair of clothes, and some socks and shoes. I put them on quickly in my bedroom, not caring at the moment if Jesse suddenly decided to materialize.

"Susannah!" I heard a voice suddenly gasp, from behind me.

Damnit, my luck is the **worst.**

Because standing right behind me, was a red-faced Jesse, shocked, _and still looking at me!!!_

I let out a shriek of surprise and embarrassment, which brought Jesse out of his staring trance and he quickly turned around and covered his eyes.

"SUZE GET DOWN HERE NOW!!!!!!!" Andy yelled.

I got on my clothes, grabbed a brush, and some makeup and ran downstairs like the Devil himself was chasing me.

I ran out to the car and got in then drove off in a hurry to my school.

**

* * *

When I got to homeroom, I saw Cee Cee standing there, waiting for me.**

Apparently we all switched homerooms today, so me and Cee Cee made our way to Mr. Trout's class.

Mr. Trout was a fat man who walked like a penguin. I _swear_, I'm not kidding. But anyway, he was pretty much bald, and wore big round glasses. He was the math teacher, and he had a very bad temper. When he got mad, like Dopey, his neck and face got really red, like he was suddenly going to explode any minute.

Quite scary looking, actually.

Anyway, as soon as I got in his class he looked over to see who walked in, and I _swear_, his face suddenly was all happy and excited looking like he just found out he won a million dollars.

"Oh my god!!" Christ, why is _everyone_ saying 'Oh my god!' to me!?! "You're Susannah Simon!! You were on MTV and Punk'd last night!!" Mr. Trout said, all happy.

My jaw literally dropped.

Sure, I expected tons of kids and teenagers to be all 'Oh my god! You're Susannah Simon!!' to me, but I didn't expect a _40-year-old man _to say that.

"Suze," CeeCee whispered to me, "I think you might want to shut your mouth, now."

"Um, yeah, that's me…" I said to the happy Mr. Trout.

I quickly took a seat in the back of the classroom.

"Welcome, everyone, to homeroom," Mr. Trout began saying.

I tuned him, out and began to remember my little encounter with Senor de Silva this morning.

I blushed at remembering that, because he had saw me in my underwear and bra only, and _that he kept staring at me for a second!!_

I soon was brought out of my thoughts, when I saw a head in front of me, only about 4 inches away from my face.

"Hello," the person's head said.

I barely managed to contain my shriek of surprise.

"Um, hi," I said, leaning back as far as I could.

As I leaned back I saw the person who I was talking to.

He had red hair, and some acne on his face. Light greenish-yellow eyes stared at me, and the boy was grinning like a idiot, and I realized he had braces also.

"Susannah, I saw you on the cablevision yesterday," the boy said. His voice was really weird, it had a weird sound. You know how your voice sounds when you hold your nose and talk? Yeah, well that's how he sounded. "I must say, you look even more pulchritudinous in person," He continued.

Um, what the heck does pulchritudinous mean?!

And cablevision??

This guy, defiantly, falls under the category 'nerd'.

"Um," I just said. "Thanks I guess. But, who exactly _are_ you??"

"Oh! My name is Earl Adlersflügel," Earl said. "And no need for you to introduce yourself, because you're the great Susannah Simon."

_The **great **Susannah Simon?!?!_

Well, it _does_ have a nice ring…

Getting back to the point, I think this Earl guy likes me.

"Um…" I said, not knowing what to say.

"So, Susannah would you care to join me and my friends for lunch today?" Earl asked.

"Um…" I said.

I was getting ready to say 'Sorry, but I already have plans for lunch' when Mr. Trout said, "Ms. Simon and Mr. Adlersfligel, I mean Adlerfligle. No, no I meant Adlerfigee."

"It's Adlersflügel, Mr. Trout. Aww-ders-flu-gel," Earl said.

"Aww-ders-fli-gel," Mr. Trout repeated.

"No, no. Aww-ders-_flu_-gel."

Earl kept trying to help Mr. Trout say his last name right, but then it was time to leave class.

I quickly got up, and practically _ran_ out the door, hoping no one would call out to me.

"SUZE!!" I heard a voice say.

I broke out into a run, and hoped that whoever it was wouldn't try following me.

But apparently I was wrong.

I turned to look over my shoulder a little, and saw _Paul Slater_ _running after me._

Paul was getting closer to me, but I kept running madly. I was running so fast that I didn't see a door in the hallway starting to open.

Until I ran right into it.

**

* * *

Hahaha!!**

**This chapter was fun writing. lol.**

**Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys rock my socks!**

**And sorry you all had to wait for just this short chapter. BUT, this is just PART ONE, and the next chapter will be PART TWO!!**

**Adieu!!**

**Sydney**


	4. School Part 2 & the Domino Effect

**DON'T KILL ME! –hides-**

**Ok first of all: IM SO SORRY! I didn't mean to take THIS long in updating! My mom has been hogging the computer for about FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT now, and I couldn't update until now. I –PROMISE- I will update A LOT sooner next time. I'm already working on further chapters, so yay! **

**THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! I loved them.**

**So, um, on with the story! **

**RR!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Mediator, Meg Cabot owns that. And I also don't own the song Drop It Like It's Hot, Snoop Dogg owns that. 

**Punk'd**

Chapter 4

I slowly opened my eyes, and tried to sit up.

Bad idea, because my head started _killing_ me when I tried sitting up.

"Oww!" I moaned.

"Ah, Miss Simon. I see you're finally up," a nurse said, looking down at me.

"Uh, what happened?" I asked, not remembering anything that happened.

"You ran into a door."

"Oh…" I said embarrassed. "How long have I been here?"

"For about 30 minutes."

"Whoa.."

"Yes, but it's a good thing Mr. Slater brought you here right away, though," the nurse said.

Paul brought me here!

Weird…

"Um, where's the bathroom?" I asked, hoping that the bathroom would have a mirror.

"Its right over there," the nurse said, pointing to a door that said Women's Bathroom on it.

I went inside and then looked in the mirror, and screamed.

There was a gigantic bruise on my head.

It was HUGE!

Yeah, remember the time I got a big bruise from that asshole Diego throwing me off my roof?

Well this bruise was a hell lotta bigger than that.

"Miss Simon! Miss Simon are you alright!" The nurse called, worried.

If I wasn't so shocked by the gigantic bruise on my head, I probably would've blushed at the nurse's worried-ness, and from screaming over a bruise, but the bruise was GINORMOUS!

It covered my ENTIRE forehead, and was a nasty black and blue color.

Oh yeah, and it hurt like hell.

"Ugh, I know no amount of make-up I have will cover this," I said sadly to myself as I walked out of the bathroom.

"Miss Simon you can go back to class now," the nurse said. "Here's a pass."

Then I found myself standing in the hallway.

* * *

**Later at lunch…**

"Suze, I saw you on MTV and Punk'd last night! What was Ashton like-WHOA! Oh my God! YOU HAVE A GIGANTIC BRUISE ON YOUR FOREHEAD! Did someone like beat you up or something! Just tell me who and I'll make sure they'll never hurt you again. C'mon Suze, just tell me who!" Adam rambled on.

"No one beat me up, Adam," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well then what happened?"

"I ran into a door," I mumbled.

"What? I didn't hear you, care to repeat that?" Adam said.

"Iranintoadoor," I said, quickly, blushing.

"You ran into a door? Are you SERIOUS? You got that GIGANTIC bruise from running into a door?" Adam pretty much yelled, causing most of the people to look and listen to what he was saying.

"Adam…" I groaned.

Great, just great.

Not only am I semi-famous for being on TV, but now most of the school will know that I have a huge bruise because I ran into a door.

Oh joy.

"Ow!" Adam suddenly yelped, he turned and glared at CeeCee, "Damnit, why the hell are you kicking me, woman?"

CeeCee slapped him on his noggin (**A/N**: hehe, noggin!) and said, "Adam McTavish, do not call me 'woman'! I have a name!"

"Aye, aye, captain!" Adam said, saluting with a mock serious face.

I swear, what would we do with Adam? (**A/N:** All together kids: WE LOVE YOU ADAM!)

CeeCee just rolled her eyes, and turned to me, "So you really did run into a door? Like on purpose?"

"Er, yeah…I was running, and someone…opened a door and I ran into it," I mumbled fast.

"Suze the graceful," Adam said grinning.

CeeCee slapped him again.

Adam stuck his tongue out at her.

CeeCee rolled her eyes.

I just laughed. Those two were meant for each other.

* * *

After lunch, I ran into Paul. 

Literally.

"Watch the hell where you're going you sl—oh hey Suze!" Paul said. He squinted his eyes and said, "Whoa. Suze you do realize you have a bruise the size of Texas don't you? How did you get—Oh! Its from when you ran into the door isn't it?"

"Yes it is," I growled. "Because of you, I ran into a door…why were you running after me anyway?"

Paul blinked at me.

"Isn't it obvious?"

This time I blinked. "Not really, so care to explain?"

"I just wanted your autograph."

What!

My mouth dropped open.

Well I wasn't expecting _that_ answer. In fact, I expected anything else but that, something even like: 'Suze I wanted to kill you', or even 'Suze I was running after you because I am completely and absolutely in love with your feet'.

Eww. Paulie the foot lover.

Scary…

Paul smiled. "So can I have it?"

"Have what?" I answered confused.

"Your autograph, silly. Can I have your autograph?"

I blinked.

This was just weird. Just way too weird.

"Um no. Sorry, I don't do autographs." And with that said, I quickly walked away, leaving a shocked Paul behind.

* * *

Finally school ended, and I was free. I skipped to the parking lot, happy that I _finally_ got to get away from everyone at school. 

I wasn't really paying attention, so I didn't see a red Corvette stop, or did I see the person that was in the car.

I was still skipping, and planning on spending the rest of my night taking a long 2 hour bubble bath, when a car honked its horn at me.

Well… I was really shocked so… I kinda tripped over my own feet, and landed face first on the parking lot's cement.

Suze the Graceful, my butt.

This is just not my day.

"Oh my god! Suze are you ok?" the owner of the car said, getting out. (**A/N: **GUESS WHO!)

"Ow… Damnit this is so not my day," I muttered, getting up slowly.

"ASHTON!" I heard a girl somewhere screech.

My eyes widened at seeing Ashton Kutcher at my school, and the sound of fan girls running toward us.

I turned to where the screech came from and saw them RUNNING toward us.

"Oh shit…" I muttered.

"ASHTON! I LLLLLOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEE YOOOOOOOUUUUUU!" one of the girls screeched (I think that it might've been Debbie, oh Brad will be devastated.)"MARRY ME ASHTON!"

"ASHTON, BABY! PICK ME OVER ALL THESE LOSERS! I'M RICHER THAN ALL THEM!" Kelly yelled, looking as if she were about to fall.

Then it happened.

Kelly just happened to be wearing heels, and you're really not meant to run in 5 inch heels, fell over, tripping. And since Kelly was in the front leading the pack of screaming, boy-crazed, fan girls, when she fell, the others fell too, creating the domino effect.

I watched in awe as all the fan girls tripped falling on each other, and hearing them whine about something like "MY NEW SHOES!" or "OH MY GOD! I BROKE A NAIL!"

I felt someone grab my arm and pull me saying, "Lets go, now!"

I hurried over and jumped into his Corvette (which happened to be a convertible one too) and he drove off out of the schools view going really fast.

"How can you stand that! All those…fan girls?" I asked, as my hair kept blowing in the wind.

Ashton looked over at me and grinned. "That's nothing. I've been in worse."

"Jeez," I said.

I turned on the radio and Snoop Dogg's Drop It Like It's Hot came _blaring_ from the speakers.

"When the pimp's in the crib ma," Snoop Dogg's voice said. "Drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot."

I looked at Ashton, and he was grinning, while rapping along right with Snoop.

I laughed. This seemed so unreal. I mean, I never would have thought me, Susannah Simon, would be riding in a car with Ashton Kutcher singing- or rapping- along with Snoop Dogg's voice on the radio.

Even in my _dreams_, nothing this…_rare_ would happen.

"Having fun?" Ashton asked, grinning.

Dear Jesus! Ashton Kutcher is grinning at me, asking if I'm having fun!

Breathe, Suze. Breathe…breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…

Suze! SUZE YOU'RE NOT BREATHEING! BREATHE DAMNIT!

Um, heh. Whoops.

"Yeah," I said, answering his question after I got over my mental reminder to breathe in and out.

"Glad you are. So, how about we take the long way to your house?" Ashton asked.

Take the long way to my house?

Ok, if it was any one else (like oh I dunno, a blue-eyed, curly-haired shifter) there's a 99.9 percent chance that I'd say 'Go to hell creep' and bitch slap them. But this is an exception.

It is, after all, Ashton Kutcher.

Drool. (Note to self: Do not drool over Ashton in public.)

So what do you think I said?

**

* * *

**

**RR!**

**The Prince of England:) (hehe)**


	5. Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssss him!

**Sorry for taking a while to update. My parents have grounded me from the computer for a month, but right now I'm doing 'homework'. So if I don't update in a while, its because I haven't found a excuse to use the computer yet.**

**So R&R!**

**DD The Dreaming Ducky**

**Punk'd**

Chapter 5

I made my way into my house three hours later after school.

When Ashton said 'take the long way to your house' he really meant taking the long way. We drove around town, for three hours, laughing and talking all the way. Ashton would drive down a random street until there was 2 ways to go (left or right), then I'd choose right or left, and pretty soon, we were really lost. But I still had loads of fun.

"SUSANNAH SIMON!"

Crrrrrrraaaaaaappppppp.

Mom.

I turned and faced her, waiting for the worse.

"Susannah Simon, where have you been! You're three hours late from school, and one hour late for dinner! There was no note, or call saying that you would be late, and _do you have any idea how worried we were!_"

"Mom"

"Then Jake said something about some gang!**_ A gang!_** I told him 'Don't be ridiculous, Suze isn't in a gang' and then do you know what Brad told me? _Do you know! _He said you have been sneaking some _boy_ _in your room **at night!**_ So, you better have a good reason why you were out, and why Jake and Brad are saying stuff like that!"

I'm.

Going.

To.

_**KILL.**_

**_Dopey!_**

Oh, Bradley Ackerman is officially dead now, people. I'm going to _torture_ him until he _dies,_ and make it look like an **accident!**

"I have no clue why Jake thinks I'm in a gang, because I'm not. And I do NOT have some guy in my room at night, hell I don't sneak a guy in my room ever! And the reason why I was so late is because Ashton picked me up at school, and we drove around town," I said.

My mom's faced changed then, well not her face, but her expression. Before she had an 'explain-now-or-else-you-can-say-goodbye-to-your-life' look, and now she has a well…_happy _look on her face.

"Oh my god!" mom squealed.

Yes, _squealed._

Dear Jesus, my mother just squealed!

"Susie its ok! I understand now!" Mom said. She may understand, but_ I_ sure as hell don't. "You went out with a boy! And not just anyone, but that nice actor Ashton Kutcher! And he's pretty good looking too."

I blinked.

Did MY MOM just say that ASHTON WAS _GOOD LOOKING_!

WHAT KIND OF PARALLEL UNIVERSE AM I IN!

The shock must have shown on my face since mom added, "But don't worry. He's all yours Susie."

My smart reply?

"Um…"

Brilliant, I know. They don't call me Suze the Brilliant for nothing you know.

"Oh, and I saved your dinner. It's in the fridge, you can eat whenever you like," She said, then walked off, _humming_.

I walked up to my room, in a daze. As soon as I opened the door, I saw a familiar glowing figure turn to look at me.

"Hey Jesse," I said, casually, walking over to my bed. I flopped down on my bed and dumped my book bag on the floor.

"Susannah…who was that boy?" Jesse asked, curiously.

Damn. He saw Ashton, too?

"Oh, he's a…friend. We just hung out after school, and he gave me a lift here," I said.

"A lift?" Jesse asked, confused.

I smiled. "He gave me a ride here, Jesse."

"Oh," he said, realizing.

"Yup," I said.

Man this was…awkward…. Mmm…Jesse looks hot…So…hot…

"Susannah, are you alright? There is drool on your chin," Jesse said, concerned.

I blushed red, and quickly wiped my chin with my sleeve. Man that was embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as when Jesse saw me this morn—OH MY GOD!

_JESSE SAW ME IN MY UNDERWEAR AND BRA ONLY THIS MORNING!_

_EEEK!_

I blushed a brighter red, and I'm sure I started to resemble a tomato.

"Susannah, are you feeling ill? Your face is very red."

GAH!

I shut my eyes, from embarrassment.

Ok, Suze. Calm down.

Just calm down…um, count to ten! Yes count to ten…one…two…three…four…five…six….seven…eight…nine…te—My eyes snapped right open as soon as I felt a hand on my forehead.

"Susannah, you're burning up!" Jesse said, worried.

I just stared at Jesse, unable to say anything at the moment.

Oh my god. Jesse's very sexy hot face is a mere _4 inches_ away from me. Don't panic, Suze. Concentrate.

…I wonder what it'd be like to kiss him…WAIT! NO! STOP THINKING LIKE THAT!

"Susannah? Susannah are you even listening to me?" I heard Jesse say, his voice bringing my out of my thoughts. Jesse waved his hand in front of my face. "Susannah?"

I blinked, then just stared at him.

Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssss hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmm! A voice in my head said.

_What the hell! _I thought.

You know you wanna kiss him, the voice said.

So what if I want to kiss him. But the thing is I _can't._

Yes you can.

Um, no I can't.

Yeah you can, smart one. Just lean forward and put your lips on his to experience pure PG 13-rated bliss—

...How do you come up with these things!

Because I'm brilliant. You said it yourself, 'Suze the Brilliant'.

Shut up!

You do realize you just told yourself to shut up, don't you? The voice said.

Shut up…I thought.

See, you just did it again!

"Susannah? Susannah, why won't you ans—" Jesse started to say, but I interrupted him.

With a kiss.


	6. Authors note dont kill me

_**Dont hate me!**_

**Ok, i KNOW i suck, but I'm putting this on temporary hiatus.**

**I'm sorry! And i left it at the kiss, too! **

**But when i come back, i _PROMISE ON ALL OF MY GOOD CHARLOTTE CD's_, the chapter will be longer, and (hopefully) better than any of the other ones.**

**Lately, its harder to write Mediator fics. And i keep forgetting alot of things that happened in the books (maybe i should re-read the books. lol)**

**_"I'll be back"_**

**Bid thee adieu!(for now)**

**Sydney aka DD**


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